Roads have always fascinated me. Even as a child riding the bus to school, I'd look down a road and wonder where it went. I wondered about the people who traveled that road every day, what their life was like, where they lived. Part of the joy of getting my driver's license was the ability to choose a road to travel, to explore where it led. What was always discouraging was finding a road that led nowhere, one that either had no outlet or ended in a woods or field.
     This can also be a problem in life. We've all heard the term "dead-end job." In some aspect or another, we all feel as if we are on a road to nowhere.We often feel we have no choice but to keep driving that same road until something changes around us. For many, that is certainly true. It takes patience to find the next turn. For others, make that U-turn and go back to where you had a choice. Yet there are still others that need to stop looking for a different road to travel and enjoy the one you're on. Look around. Find the beauty.
     This is where the idea for my book The Road to Nowhere was born. The first character reaches a point when she realizes she is going nowhere and she decides to do something about it. Let's just say it doesn't work out well for her. (You'll have to read the book to find out why!) The next character doesn't realize his relationship is going nowhere until it figuratively crashes. He doesn't know what road to take. He tries to pull a U-turn, but that doesn't work. A third character knows she's on a road to nowhere but believes she has no choice but to keep going. She makes the best of it until a road-block is thrown in front of her. This is what causes her to realize she can't continue to run her life. For the first time in her life, she hears of God's love for her. Several people around her exhibit that love in real ways. She wants to know more. Through several unexpected turns, she finds God's love and forgiveness. She knows she's on a new road now.
     Of course there's much more that happens. A house fire. A kidnapping. A death. But the point is that no matter what twists and turns life takes, if we keep our eyes on God, it doesn't matter where the road leads or what happens along the journey. God will always take us where we need to go.

  

     I always enjoy pictures and this one is especially sweet to me. This is the graph that charted my progress writing The Road to Nowhere in the month of November. It cut off the numbers at the bottom of the chart, but each column represents November 1-30. I reached the 50,000 mark on November 27 with 50,124 words. I didn't update the total again until November 30 which gave me a grand total of 51,646. I actually wrote over 600 words more but I didn't update that on the site.
     I have switched over to using a different program as I continue writing. It breaks my chapters up into separate files so I won't have an over-all word count now until I finish editing. I love the new program as it helps me focus on what happens in each chapter and how that builds into the next chapter. During the month of December, I would like to finish the story or at least get really close. Last night as I moved the story into the new program, I started the editing process. I am so excited to see where it goes next! Please continue to pray for me as I work toward finishing the book and seeking an agent. In all honesty, writing and editing is the easy (though time consuming!) part. Finding an agent takes a very long time and a lot of work.
    I will continue to post updates as I progress. I appreciate each and every comment and word of encouragement. It helps on those dark days when my computer just stares back at me and refuses to do anything!

It has been a very challenging month. The end of the first quarter marking period at school. Parent/Teacher conferences. Tests and projects to grade. Thanksgiving to prepare for. And of course writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.
     For years, I have used the excuse that I am too busy during the school year to keep up with my writing. Several times I tried but didn't continue, allowing other things to get in the way. When I accepted this challenge this month, I wasn't sure I would be able to complete it. But I knew that no matter how much I wrote, it was more at the end of the month than I had at the beginning of the month. So I chose a story idea that has been sitting in my files for about five years. I had the basic premise but hadn't developed it into a full story. I wrote the beginning which I've posted here on my blog. When I started the first chapter, the story took on a life of it's own and took off. Some days I only wrote a few hundred words. Other days I found time (and the words!) to write a couple thousand words. God moved and the story has grown and changed. He led me to write the story from a perspective I don't really understand - that of someone who was not raised going to church. It has been a challenge, but I believe I see some things from a new point of view.
     God has also blessed me with several people who are willing to help me with some research. I've never written a mystery/detective story before this one. There are two people in law enforcement who have offered to help me keep the legal aspect of it accurate.
      I'm still not finished writing. My goal is to finish the story in December, then spend January - March revising. I'd like to have it ready to start submitting to a literary agent by April. Thank you to all those who have sent notes of encouragement. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue this journey toward a finished book and seek publication. It is a long, long road.

   I am really excited about this challenge! So far this month I've written 18,940 words. I'm not saying they're all good words, but the idea is - to paraphrase Dory from Finding Nemo - just keep writing, just keep writing. The more I write, the more I really like this story. I've decided to share a ROUGH draft of the first part titled The End. I know, that's a strange place to begin, but it works for the story. The title of the book is The Road to Nowhere.  Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your comments.

The End          
  I had enough.  Everyone reaches that point in his or her life – the point when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can’t possibly handle any more.  I knew exactly when that was for me.  It was Tuesday, March 23, 10:19 p.m. Pacific Time.  I stood staring into the broken bathroom mirror.  I didn’t recognize myself.  Gray hair streaked through what had once been rich brown with a hint of auburn.  Now it was limp, lifeless, pulled back severely into a hair clip.  Strands had escaped during this last confrontation, a confrontation that had culminated with the can of shaving cream smashing the bathroom mirror.  The wrong can of shaving cream.  The reason for this evening’s tirade.  I looked again at the shattered image staring back at me.  My green eyes met those in the mirror and that’s when it hit me.  Those eyes stared back at me as if there was no soul behind them, just ovals that let in images and light.  I knew then that it was time.

            Hands shaking, I picked up the pieces of mirror in the sink and tossed them into the wastebasket.  Splashing cold water into my face helped hold up my resolve.  It was now or never.  I reached behind the toilet tank and grasped a plastic baggie.  Unzipping it, I unfolded the bills and quickly counted it.  Nearly a hundred dollars in ones, fives, and two tens.  Opening the cabinet under the sink, I reached far back behind the bottles of cleaning supplies and removed a hair spray can.  I had accidentally stumbled upon it in a second hand shop.  The bottom unscrewed and out fell more bills, this stash was all twenties.  Two hundred twenty dollars.  Before I could loose my resolve, I gathered my other stashes from throughout the house.  It was a pitiful amount to show for nearly fifteen years of sneaking and saving.  I took it all to the bedroom and threw it on the bed.  There was time.  I had at least another hour and that was all I needed.  The final count encouraged me – nearly five thousand dollars.  Again my hands shook as I sorted it into piles, rolled it and placed rubber bands around each roll.  I stared at the rolls lined up on my bed.  I felt nothing.  I really had no thought in my head.  I felt empty, lifeless; but I knew what I needed to do.

            Reaching under the bed, I pulled out an old suitcase.  I struggled just a little as I hoisted it onto the bed.  I flipped it open and removed a canvas money belt.  This too was from my forage into a second hand shop.  Unsnapping each pocket, I placed a roll of bills in each of the eight compartments.  Shedding my current outfit, I Velcroed the money belt to my waist, running my hand over it.  It was more than a belt – it was my lifeline.  I replaced my outfit with a loose fitting dress of an unknown fashion date.  It was old and faded, but one that had come from the same second hand store.  This was going to be my new wardrobe.  A new wardrobe for a new life.  But what kind of life?

            I didn’t have time to plan that out now. It would keep. Looking at the clock, I started to shiver, not from cold, but from the knowledge of what would happen if I were discovered. Trembling hands thrust unfamiliar clothing items into a worn duffle bag. A quick survey of the bedroom told me there was nothing there I could take with me. As I passed the oversized, ugly dresser I caught my reflection again. Hair! I almost forgot the stupid wig! Dropping the bag, I raced to the closet, tugging on the chain under the lightbulb. It swung from its wire, casting moving shadows over the clothes and boxes. Sifting through the back of the stack, I grasped the balled up plastic grocery bag that held my headpiece. Switching the light off again with a click, I stood in front of the mirror, sweeping up my own mess of hair and fitting the wig snuggly on my head.  Prepared as I was for the transformation, I had to pause for a moment to adjust to my reflection. The straight blonde hair rested on my shoulders. Bangs like those of a young girl hung to just above my eyes, covering my darker eyebrows.  The green of my eyes seemed brighter, more intense. But there was no way anyone who saw me would recognize me for Aileen Praiger, mousey wife of Phil Praiger.

            Snapping out of my daze, I grabbed my supply bag and raced for the back door. The screen door screeched like it was warning someone of my departure. I winced as it repeated the sound slamming behind me. It was the sound of finality to a part of my life I never wanted to face again. Looking ahead – not behind – was my new motto.

            My beat-up little car welcomed me. Though nearly ten years old, she ran well. As I turned the key, I smiled ever so slightly. Due to Phil’s DUI tickets and a fender-bender or two, the car and insurance were in my name. A fact that Phil hated with a passion since he paid for everything. Good thing he hated paying the higher insurance premium more, so it had been switched over to me just last year. At least he couldn’t accuse me of stealing the car.

            As I backed onto the street, a soft rain splashed the windshield. I liked the rain and now it felt as if the skies themselves blessed my escape. It wasn’t over yet, not until I drove clear across the country to the East Coast. I had never been out of a twenty mile radius of my hometown in northern California. More than anything other than escaping my husband, I wanted to see all the places I read and hear about. Or at least as many as my five thousand dollars could take me to.

            The rain picked up its pace as I sped up the mountain road. I glanced at the four year old atlas on the seat beside me. Phil laughed at me when I picked it up at a yard sale a few months ago.

            “Whadda need maps for? You never go anywhere.” The scorn in his voice made me shrivel inside. I almost put it down. From somewhere inside of me a bit of stubborn courage that hadn’t been buried yet showed itself. I dug the fifty cents out of my purse and smacked it into the woman’s hand. Now it was my guide to the Promised Land.

            I turned the windshield wipers up a notch as the raindrops thudded the glass. Dusk came early under the rain clouds and cars on-coming headlights glared through the water before it was swished away.  The dread of being discovered slowly fell away. He wouldn’t find me. He couldn’t find me. The phrase kept time with the wipers.

            Driving through the pouring rain for two hours was boring, but I didn’t care. It meant two less hours with Phil. I tried not to think about what he was doing because I was sure he discovered my escape by now. The surge of adrenaline that had pushed me out the door and down the road was fading. I considered pulling over for a few hours of sleep. I didn’t want to spend any more than I had to, especially at the beginning. Money was too important.

            Before I could think, a deer flashed onto the dark road. I hit the brakes and swerved. A mistake I will always regret.  I don’t really know what happened next except that I was plunging off the side of the road, the car slashing through branches, bumping and pounding for what seemed like an eternity. The jolt that slammed through my body when the car hit something whipped my head into the steering wheel. My very last thought was pain. Then nothing.

             Today I’m at home fighting some kind of stomach flu. This is definitely NOT a good way to take some time off! I’m trying to put my time to good use: researched new material for my classes; crocheted until I ran out of that color yarn; started a new baby blanket; and worked on my National Novel Writing challenge.

                I’m really enjoying the challenge. It helps that I’m held accountable for my work. Yes, it’s added pressure, but it’s the kind of pressure I need to help keep me focused. I work much better under pressure than when I have all the time in the world. Deadlines are my friend. So writing this story has been different than other books I’ve worked on. It has a different feel to it.

                I’ve discovered that specific kinds of music help me focus on what I’m writing. When I was working on writing papers and thesis for college, there were three specific classical music CDs I listened to. I found that if I didn’t have one of them playing, writing slowed down. I wasn’t as focused. So when I started writing Somewhere Down the Road, I pulled out those CDs and began. It didn’t work. The music actually irritated me. I tried several other styles of music and found one that worked. Don’t laugh or hate me – Barry Manilow music worked the best. My writing moved more smoothly and I focused on the storyline.

                On my next story The Matter of Faith, I started with his CDs. The music didn’t fit. I again searched for something else, even going back to the classical. It didn’t work. This one needed Michael Buble. When I listen to his music, the story just flows.

                I’ve taken a break from The Matter of Faith this month to write the challenge.  Again it took me a while to find the right genre of music. This one surprised me. Jazz. I don’t even like jazz. It meanders and wanders around too much for my taste. But when I’m writing The Road to Nowhere, it just fits.

                I just thought this was rather interesting. I can’t wait to see how this story unfolds. I’m looking forward to the journey as much as the destination.

     Last year I joined the website NaNoWriMo.org. It is a site that challenges each person to begin and complete a 50,000 word novel starting November 1 and finishing by midnight local time November 30. There are very few rules and the reward is the satisfaction of having written a novel in 30 days. The emphasis is quantity over quality - just write!  The month of December is dedicated to fine tuning what was written.
     I keep saying I don't have time to write during the school year. I'm too busy. So my outlines sit there, waiting patiently for me to grow them into a real story. But I think this is do-able. If I just write and don't worry about editing and changing, I can at least get the roots planted and growing. Since I can't start writing anything but the outline until November 1, it gives me plenty of time to choose which seed to plant and water.
     Help me out. I have several stories outline on my Books In Progress page. Which one sounds like something you would want to read? Leave me a message on this post and I'll choose the storyline that receives the most nominations.